Relationships Complicated by Communication
Communication is the key to relationship success.
It is the number one way to continue- or discontinue- a relationship with someone. There don’t have to be words exchanged- it can be a look or a touch. You can send a card or a letter. (GASP) We do still have mail carriers and they still deliver mail.
For all the ways we have to communicate, you would think we could, well, communicate. Think about it. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Linked In, Pinterest, websites, instant messenger, texting, emailing. I could go on but you get the picture. There are countless ways to reach out to someone. Yet, we continue to be terrible at it.
I spent a lot of intentional time alone in 2018. I didn’t reach out to social groups, didn’t make plans or
I relished in long quiet mornings watching the sunrise. I drank coffee on my back patio. I prayed. I left my phone inside and my computer off the internet. I figured my people would check on me regularly. I assumed there would be impromptu visits and invitations to do things. I figured they would take care of me for a little while.
It’s been really quiet.
At
It caused me to pause. I was in a weird place of needing others to be more proactive in our relationships. I was doing good to get myself moving each day- let alone maintain working connections I already had with people I had an investment in. I made the assumption they were invested too and I was as valuable to them.
Why do we throw away good relationships? Maybe the question is “When did we get too busy for one another?” or “When did most of my relationships become one way streets?”
The truth? I felt like I had been discarded- punished for following a quiet path clearly laid out for me.
People go through life things, and we depend on those around us to hold us up. It dawned on me I had set my expectation high for people who didn’t want what I wanted. I was expecting the fairytale tribe to show up in full force.
There are men & women all over living the #TRIBE dream. I have longed for this my entire life. I have always wanted to be part of a tribe where everyone is different, and they love unconditionally despite opinion and vocation.
One where the girls go on trips together and families spend late summer nights around a fire and drink coffee at the coffee house and worship on Sunday with full seats surrounding us. I have wanted sisters in Christ who call and check on me or sit in the quiet and hold my hand while I cry.
I want people who rally around one another when a heart is broken and celebrate with when it is full. I want the laughter of
I want to be invested in people who are also invested in me. We can learn so much from one another when we agree and disagree.
Reciprocation. It is so important to give to others what has been given to you. The need for wise counsel and unfailing love has been tremendous for me this year. The lack of it’s availability has been startling.
I’ve got so many questions- maybe you do too. Reality dictates I cannot possibly be the only one who thinks this way. Maybe I am finally brave enough to talk about it. Maybe it is a conversation we should have had a long time ago.
How do we build something which is so important to us when it seems unimportant to others?
At what point do we give up the hope of these kinds of relationships?
Do we pray for God to bless us with this type of community?
At the end of the day maybe God isn’t finished with my quiet time yet. Maybe he needs me to stay focused on the things I am working on within. Maybe he wants my heart prepared for something big, and this is how he prepares it. I am not sure about the future of the relationships I once had. I would love for them to reignite somehow, but they will be different because I am different and not everyone embraces change.
I want to continue talking about community and its importance. Please leave me a comment if you have questions or want to share your story about community. In the meantime, I will relish the relationship I have which never changes- Jesus’ friendship and never ending grace.
XOXO
my story after knowing my husband for 48 years and being married for 43 he decided he wanted out . His addiction to
alcohol led to this he withdrew from a family who loved and cared for him not sharing meals even at holiday time
with family. I was in a very degrading and dehumanizing relationship.Friends we had for years took his side whatever
tall tales he told I realized that they were not my true friends no one contacted me to ask how are you.He even stayed
friends with my brothers. I am a very loyal person truthful to the end. This almost destroyed me if not for a wonderful
kind neighbor lady who called me everyday or we met across the fence and she was always there when I seemed to need
someone.I know God placed her in my life. I started to go back to my church daily Bible devotions all seemed to fall in
place.Prayers are answered and some are not on my time but Gods. But then I am a patient person and know God has a
better plan for me.