Set Apart
I have always been afraid to pray for certain things, knowing how God moves and answers prayer.
For example, when I prayed for patience, I was met with circumstances that taught me copious amounts of patience. While I was frustrated in the middle of these situations, in hindsight I have learned a few key things about myself and how to manage when I need patience most. It has prepared me for dealing with other people and circumstances mostly out of my control.
So, when I first started praying for clarity, I was a little apprehensive. I wanted to have clarity without the process of learning about it. I just wanted my eyes open (or so I thought) to whatever it was I felt I kept missing.
Clarity is like patience. God knows what he is doing by not immediately opening my eyes to things I was not ready for. While I have had a few glimpses of clarity, I understand some things remain hidden, likely for my protection.
But when clarity hit-whew.
I didn’t expect the answer I received, and yes, I said “answer”, as in one answer. While my question was multi-faceted, the answer I received came in the form of one single moment of clarity which repeated itself over and over.
The answer?
I am set apart.
Every time I struggle with understanding why I am left feeling like an outsider, I hear the whisper.
Every time I sit in wonder at a comment or revelation that I cannot get my head wrapped around, I hear the whisper.
Every time I feel left out and left alone because I choose a different path, I hear the whisper.
Set apart. I always wondered what that meant. I admit I was not surprised. I think praying for clarity really opened my eyes to some things I hadn’t seen before. It also reminded me of things I once knew and had forgotten.
There are several scriptures about being set apart. I have a couple of favorites.
In context, each of these scriptures points to a kept promise of God. Context is so important when referring to scripture. In order to completely understand the New Testament promises you really need to at minimum read and study the Old Testament covenants. (All of them, not just the big ones which seem to be popular like Noah and David)
In these verses, being set apart means God commits to keeping you with him, and you commit to keeping him with you. It’s reciprocal. It also means He has a plan, an actual plan for your life.
You are to be holy to me because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own. (The words of the Lord speaking to Moses)
Know that the Lord has set apart his faithful servant for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him. (A Psalm of David)
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (The words of Jeremiah, recalling what God said to him)
Having clarity about being set apart has given me the confidence to move forward with whatever God has in store for me. It doesn’t mean knowing my future here on this earth, it means knowing my future after I am finished.
And that is the most important part of my future.
XOXO,
Outsider & Teacher
I’m an Intervention Specialist in a separate facility serving eighth-grade students. The story of how I ended up here is its own. But what I have witnessed in a few years is incredibly disappointing. Not all of the things I am speaking of here apply to everyone- but they all matter somewhere.
The truth is, I don’t know how anyone is surviving being a teacher right now.
It has been such a huge struggle for me, and for the people I work with. Aside from the typical expectation about working outside of contracted time, dress codes that are outdated, and the expectation that we are at the beck and call of every administrator, student, and parent 24-7, what else could possibly be wrong with being a teacher?
Just about everything.
Our collective exhaustion does not lie. Neither does the way we show up right when the virtual staff tardy bell is about to ring, and we walk out the door with ungraded papers and unwritten correspondence on our desks. There is no time to accomplish the demands put on us when arriving on time and leaving on time.
In my case, our “mandated” planning time is squeezed in between the 8 am arrival time and the students’ 8:25 arrival- the same at the end of the day- student dismissal at 2:53 (most kids are still here after 3) But our planning time is 3-3:30. (Supposed to be an hour, daily)
Lots of jokes coming at you in this profession.
I could go on for a long time.
Here’s the thing.
People in the private sector would NEVER put up with the things teachers put up with.
In some cases, it would never be allowed legally.
I don’t know anyone who works in an office building, for the government, or in a retail setting who puts up with verbal assault, physical assault, obnoxious patrons, and being overall abused from all sides like teachers are continuously expected to put up with. All the while maintaining decorum and professionalism in a manner that reflects all the wholesomeness of the district. (please forgive me while I gag)
I don’t know how people (I affectionately call them “talking heads”) get to sit on the outside of this job and make decisions about what I do in my classroom they’ve spent no time in, how to best serve my students they have never met, and within what parameters I will be “allowed” to teach. They literally have no idea about any of this, at all.
I don’t know why teachers allow any of this. I don’t know what unions are doing to prevent it. I don’t understand how it is ok to sit and let it happen.
I don’t have time to find out.
But I do know this:
People are leaving careers of 20+ years in the classroom where they have poured out their hearts and a lot of their lives into other people’s children, with no thanks or appreciation. Only a wage that doesn’t fit their workload and a lot of unrealistic expectations and demands. And new teachers are getting their Master’s degrees in other areas so they can LEAVE and go work someplace they are respected and paid for all the jobs they complete.
There are a lot of “trainings” and “professional development“ meetings required to implement the next big new thing which is often left to the wayside for the newest “next big thing” the following year. There are piles and piles of paperwork to be completed in a specific manner within a specific timeline and must be followed up on, and those piles keep growing and getting more complicated by the year. I am an Intervention Specialist and I have all IEP students in my classroom. My piles are huge.
There are tons of things that teachers do that no one even gives them credit for.
If you are a teacher, Intervention Specialist, or support staff in ANY fashion, I hope I conveyed how ridiculous parts of this profession have become. I hope I represent your struggle. I hope you speak up and start advocating for yourself and your teacher friends. I hope you can move forward and serve your students without losing yourself in the process.
If you would like to contribute to this series, please send me a comment with your email.
I would love to feature your letter to the public, school district, superintendent, or lawmakers.
It can be done completely anonymously.
*no risqué language or legal accusations, please.
I’m coming back with more on this topic because it is important. Things need to change and we have to get this right.
XOXO,
Good Mornings!
Good mornings begin with being still.
This seems to be the direct opposite of what the world insists we do these days. When I was a kid, I remember going to the corner restaurant and listening while my parents and extended family drank coffee and talked. I was restless- I wanted to be outside. They also did it at my aunts’ houses—coffee and talking, sitting for hours. It was so boring!
Now I would give up a lot of things to have those moments back.
Many of the adults are gone now, and none of the cousins really associate with one another or make an attempt to see one another. I’ve reflected on this with a friend and she too misses those days.
As an adult, I have worked hard to have my own quiet spaces I can retreat to. My husband and I have built places we can host friends or family and spend time just being still together. The problem is it seems no one knows how to do that anymore.
As I sit here I can count on one hand how many people have accepted my invitation for early morning coffee on the patio. The list is short, but the time is treasured. It’s as if it stops moving forward in those moments.
The sun comes up and rises high in the sky and before we know it, there is an alarm going off reminding one of us of the next thing we have to do today or an appointment we don’t want to miss.
I’ve learned- and it has been a hard lesson-that spending quiet time alone or with a friend in a quiet space is good for your soul. It’s good for your spirit and good for your life. I listen to the birds, grab another coffee refill and sit on the swing lost in my thoughts and not caught up in my to-do list.
Good Mornings were made for being still.
XOXO,
Reflections
There are so many things I could be reflecting on, yet few keep my attention like the topic I am about to throw out into this space. I’ve recently been made keenly aware of the fear other people have when speaking of their faith in public places or with strangers.
I have been a believer for the majority of my life. I was baptized at the age of 12 after multiple years in a charismatic youth group and many weeks of church camp. My parents made sure we went to church every Sunday and it was never an option- it’s what our family did.
I am grateful for that example. The truth is we all have choices in the way we spend our time and sometimes being a member of a church is a way of releasing some control over parts of our life we don’t want to let go of. We maybe don’t want to share our trauma, heartache, or failures. We are not afraid to share our successes, but we don’t always want to celebrate in a way that is deemed appropriate for the company of others.
When our faith intersects with our fear, we choose to be ruled by fear far too often. It discourages and disappoints me. Not because I am not guilty of doing the same thing, but at how quickly some believers are at determining and intentionally deciding not to be brave in their faith.
I have been nursing a knee injury for weeks. I have a brace on my knee and I hobble around a bit when it gets stiff. I met my husband at a store after work one day and as we approached the door, a couple was walking past us, and out of courtesy, we exchanged hellos. What happened next I will never forget- it is engrained in my spirit and I will never fully be able to explain how it has impacted me.
The man turned around and asked me “ma’am, does your knee hurt? Is it injured?”
I responded to him “Yes, I have an undiagnosed issue which is quite painful, with a brace and a limp.”
The next moment was everything.
He asked if he could pray for my injury, and when I gave him a stunned “yes” he asked to place his hand on my knee and started the most faithful, intentional, and descriptive prayer of healing I have ever heard in my life.
It didn’t take long for me to realize I was crying hard, tears rolling down my cheeks as he prayed over my healing, tendons, muscles, bones, and pain. He prayed for my anxiety, my worry, and my faith for healing.
My husband stood beside me silent and stunned, holding my hand not able to believe what he was seeing.
When he finished he asked me to walk around a bit because he was fully confident God would heal me.
When I thanked him he only said, “No, don’t thank me! Thank only Jesus.”
I was simply stunned. I quietly walked away, overcome with emotion and completely broken on the inside. I spent several hours wondering how impactful my decision to stop at a store was. I almost didn’t stop at all, but something inside me nudged me, so I pulled in.
My husband was decently quiet the entire evening and when we processed about this event, he and I were on the same page. It was quite indescribable. The entire thing was so surreal like I couldn’t believe the obedience of a stranger. He followed the still small voice to pray for me and it was not lost on me.
When recalling this even later with some friends, I heard people say some funny things. One person said it was dangerous to “simply approach strangers’ in that way. ” Another said, ” Oh I could never do that.” Yet another questioned the validity of it all. Others were as stunned as we are.
Rest assured, I have not questioned one single second. I am not completely healed. However- the lasting impact of a stranger’s kindness and obedience is not lost on me. I am still reveling in his ability to just stop in a moment and do what is laid upon him.
It is also not lost on me the unwillingness of believers to even contemplate being so intentionally obedient and faithful. I wanted in that moment of realizing their doubt to scream “If you only knew! If you only understood! If you only experienced what I had at that moment!” But my voice was frozen and my still small inner voice said “just be still because it won’t matter- they weren’t there.”
The truth it, it’s my story to tell. It was my experience. Others couldn’t possibly understand without taking the risk of opening themselves up to something deep, spiritual and maybe unknown.
My knee is on the mend. My heart is full. My faith and clarity strengthened due to the kindness and obedience of a stranger.
XOXO
Embrace anyone & everyone
I sat in the front of the church, alone in my pew. (Yes, we still have those) My husband with the voice was on the stage singing his soul out to God as part of the worship team. I’d been at church for a couple of hours already because his rehearsal is early. I had already sat through writing notes in Sunday school, the awkward in-between time, and now the service was wrapping up. I geared up my introverted self for another awkward few minutes until I could escape to the safety of our car.
I placed my bible and journal in my bag with the hundred or so gel pens. (Yes, you read that right. 100+)
I turned to go and was stopped by… no one.
I am an introvert, it’s true. Sometimes I have anxiety being around people I am not comfortable with.
I also have a certain spiritual awareness I didn’t have when I was younger. I recognize that if I want the Holy Spirit to step in and take charge- I must ask him to. I don’t depend on other flawed human beings to “feed me” spiritually. I know how to open, read, and study scripture. I know how to pray, worship, and seek spiritual counsel from qualified people.
I also know how to get my feelings really hurt by the very people who shouldn’t be hurting people’s feelings at all. I have expectations that just because I am different, and I see things from a place of clarity (for me personally) I would be welcomed with open arms and the love of Christ in my own church.
It doesn’t feel this way.
I’ve not been here my whole life. I’m not part of the tradition. I’m not part of the memories. I’m not part of much of anything. Some of that is my choice- we don’t have women’s ministry at my church. (Not an excuse just a fact) We have traditions, established women’s groups consisting of lifelong friends and family (who are not a fan of switching things up), and a handful of new people who don’t know where they fit in. (We aren’t exactly good at rolling out the welcome mat.)
This often makes me think of a piece of artwork of Jesus that I have grown to love, not because it is actually him, but because of what he is doing. He has his arms stretched out like he is ready to embrace anyone.
Imagine that- embracing anyone.
Having the ability to embrace anyone is a God-given gift at best. I believe it’s a prayed-for gift, not something which comes naturally to many. Especially not a group of people who have always suffered loss in their congregation and not a lot of growth.
Embracing anyone includes everyone– much like the gospel. It means it doesn’t matter if someone is new to Christ, new to your church, or new to you. It doesn’t matter if a person has no ideas or new ideas- embracing everyone takes a form of self-sacrifice that most don’t understand.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s breaking with tradition. It’s making a change that is hard for almost everyone.
But to be like Jesus and move forward with growth we must do the hard things.
To be like Jesus we must have our arms wide open- ready to embrace everyone.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think (and likely overthink) this situation and how I can make it better only by opening my own arms and welcoming others in a way I have not been. If I can be like Jesus in this one small way, then it’s one small thing I can do that is hard for others, and maybe it will make a difference.
I used to be really offended for myself over this situation. But I have come to realize some people simply don’t know how to open their arms, hearts, and lives. I am still looking for a way to overcome this obstacle for myself personally. I would love to have no anxiety walking into the place where I worship. I pray for the Holy Spirit to give me what I need to be the change I want to see.
What does embracing everyone look like exactly?
How do we walk in our lives with open arms like Jesus?
It must start in one place, become very consistent and second nature, then spill over into other areas of your life. It’s a personal choice and a Holy Spirit-led venture.
Accepting everyone in all of life’s circumstances, regardless of where they come from is a good start. Unconditional love and respect for someone’s boundaries. Communicating clearly and concisely. Quiet, prayerful support in life decisions and acceptable, prayerful counsel when needed. Community, commitment to the relationship, and continuous relationship maintenance.
For me, it looks like giving people space when they need it. Sending them a handwritten card or quietly squeezing their hand in a moment when words won’t work or be heard. Smiling across a room. Intentionally seeking out those who look lost like I am. Recognizing that people were created to need one another and created to be helpful to one another.
It looks like asking the questions instead of making assumptions. It requires less gossip and more listening. It requires a certain number of uncomfortable moments of uncertainty until you get over yourself and the fear of rejection and just offer support and love in a variety of simple ways that reflect that you care.
Personally, I would love for the people in my church to be more open to visitors instead of making it feel so closed off and private. I would love to hear “The people in your church are so warm and welcoming, we will definitely be back.” I would love a genuine smile and a friendly handshake and a sense of belonging to be offered to everyone who comes in the door, from lifelong members to brand new visitors.
Everyone needs to be on the same page with their level of Holy Spirit-led hospitality for this to happen. Everyone needs to recognize and understand the impact of their words, facial expressions, huddles in the corner with friends, and quiet glances.
Everyone has to want to become a space where we embrace anyone and everyone like Jesus.
XOXO
JOY
On November 1, 2021, I set up my Christmas tree with its twinkling led lights. I sat down on the couch in the dark, with a cup of coffee, a fuzzy blanket, and a book. For a few minutes, I felt calm, cool, and collected. I had been counting down the days after I made a deal with my husband about setting it up after Halloween. I made sure to put it in my calendar, and it was the only Monday since the semester started that I was able to come home after work without stopping and not log into a class.
I took a picture of my twinkling tree and put it on my social media pages because it makes me happy and brings me joy.
I knew there were people who thought this was ridiculous, and who would be making comments about it being too early.
Here’s the thing.
I know what brings me joy.
I know when I get into a place where I am struggling on any level, that there are certain things I can count on to lift my spirits. I also believe this is not up to anyone else. It is my responsibility to look out for my own physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Not one of the people who had negative things to say is doing anything to bring me joy, in any fashion. Not one of their comments is helpful.
None of them oversees my joy, happiness, or contentment.
And I am okay with it.
I am okay with knowing what brings me joy is my thing.
I am okay with everyone being on different pages where this Christmas tree and decorating business goes. Do you wait until after Thanksgiving? That’s cool. Do you wait until Dec. 1? That’s awesome, I appreciate the tradition. Do you wait until Christmas week? Alright, if that’s your thing.
My joy is not dependent on other people’s opinions. I’m not inviting people over to critique my choice. I’m not sharing my joy to invite criticism. I shared my picture because I was joyful, and I was hoping to bring some joy into the hearts of others if they should allow it.
I am old enough to know where I stand matters only to me. I am also okay with it.
This Christmas season, do what brings you joy.
Walk through the displays at the megastore. Buy that nativity you’ve been eyeing for years. Color coordinate your tree this year. Put up all the lights on all the buildings and call it Christmas. Go see the local light displays early, play Christmas carols, wear the ugly Christmas sweater.
My ultimate joy is derived from knowing all these seasonal things lead me to the cross, a lifetime journey that I have been focused on for a long time. And knowing that because of Jesus’ birth and his journey, I have the freedom to be joyful on my terms, without regret, remorse, approval, or calendar.
XOXO
Merry Christmas
Cling to the Cross
I placed an order recently for a few things to change up my Christmas preparation routine. When I received the package, I had no idea how much it would change my perception and perspective of a commonly said phrase.
A lot of time, when people are struggling with grief, among other things, the common advice is “cling to the cross”
I have done this, I have lived it, I have clung to it with everything I had in me. But I never really understood the reality until I opened this box.
Inside was a hand-sized, wooden cross, carved from acacia wood and beautifully shaped.
It was smooth yet firm in my hand. It fits perfectly when I hold onto it, and I couldn’t believe how natural it was to hold onto it.
Just like when I cling to the cross spiritually, I found myself clinging to it physically. I couldn’t believe it, but I felt like I was connected to this little handheld cross that I only owned for less than 24 hours.
It seemed so unreal- I felt like I wished I’d had it for years, a real cross to cling to. I couldn’t believe how holding it while I prayed, cried, or celebrated changed the way I cling to the cross.
My figurative clinging to the cross was always a cherished, sometimes struggling time. My literal clinging to the cross? That is an amazing small change I have made that I am having a hard time describing.
If you need something extra, a little faith push in the right direction, then maybe consider this for yourself. Whatever struggle looks like for you, I cannot advocate this little handheld cross enough. I have had devotionals, books and music help me in my faith journey over a lifetime. I never considered the impact a small cross could make in the palm of my hand, to give my faith a boost, my prayers more meaning, and my studying more life.
Somehow holding this small wooden cross has made everything about the birth, life, and death of Christ seems real. It makes it feel more important and special somehow. It reminds me of the humble beginning- birth in a strange place that wasn’t meant for people at all. The life that gave his parents joy and his follower’s hope and the death which was overcome in the grave in only three days’ time, to forever be defeated and left in ashes.
Somehow this little wooden cross has provided me with reminders I had forgotten and faith I had let weaken. Holding it in my hand has given me hope for the rest of my time here until I go home.
XOXO,
Hold On, Look Up
The God of the universe sees you.
He literally, figuratively, and completely sees you.
He sees your pain, your frustration, and your heartache.
He sees your guilt, your regret, and your somber self-loathing.
Most of all, he sees your redemption story.
Hold on when the night is long and the days are tough. Hold onto him, he knows the way. Live in obedience and take the road less traveled- he will take care of all your things- guaranteed.
Hold on when the hurt reveals itself and the feeling of helplessness takes hold of your heart. He will walk beside you and carry you through.
Hold on when people disappoint and walk away- he will never leave you or forsake you.
Hold on when it feels hopeless. Hold on when you are uncertain. Hold on when the only thing you can see is darkness and the only thing you feel is the cold.
He will always light your way. He will always warm the path. He will give you hope beyond what you have ever known.
The God of the Universe sees you, friend.
He sees you, he loves you, he knows you.
And if you ever forget- please just look up. He will send a reminder.
And if this sky looks like this tonight when I am struggling so much with the world around me, I can only imagine what it will look like when I am redeemed.
XOXO,
Jesus is Coming Soon
I read it on my social media page. Big blue letters. Jesus is coming soon.
I think this statement is relative for me because when is “soon”?
Not soon enough.
When I say this it makes me feel almost guilty for all those who have ignored people who have tried to witness to them. It makes me feel empathy and compassion for those who are teetering on the line of belief and faith, yet still have a foot in the world. It makes me think of those who left the church and their faith due to something human that happened to them or around them. And I catch my breath at the implications for those right on the edge, willing to pause for salvation out of uncertainty and fear.
on the other hand…
Not soon enough.
If they knew what I know, they wouldn’t pause at all. There would be no waiting.
There would be no hesitation because God is good, all the time.
If you believe that, then imagine what heaven looks, feels, smells, and sounds like! A place of no sorrow, no pain, no frustration. For me, no anxiety, no relationship faux-pas, no worrying about what other people do or say. There will be no tears, no physical pain, and no suffering.
No gossip, no slander, no jealousy, and no fighting. No crime, no injustice, no shootings, and no racism.
There will be only peace. Forgiveness. love. redemption.
We cannot possibly fathom how incredible Heaven will be. The only way to know for ourselves is to arrive there when we leave here.
The only way to accomplish that is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and turn from the way of this life to a new life within yourself. A life that includes obedience, scripture, and following the path God has laid out for you. You can save yourself by taking the steps and following through.
Below in John 14, Jesus speaks and gives clear instructions for redemption. He tells us exactly what to do and how to do it. And he tells us he is going there to prepare a place for us that we can only imagine.
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”
Jesus the Way to the Father
5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”
22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”
23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”
XOXO,
