Embrace anyone & everyone
I sat in the front of the church, alone in my pew. (Yes, we still have those) My husband with the voice was on the stage singing his soul out to God as part of the worship team. I’d been at church for a couple of hours already because his rehearsal is early. I had already sat through writing notes in Sunday school, the awkward in-between time, and now the service was wrapping up. I geared up my introverted self for another awkward few minutes until I could escape to the safety of our car.
I placed my bible and journal in my bag with the hundred or so gel pens. (Yes, you read that right. 100+)
I turned to go and was stopped by… no one.
I am an introvert, it’s true. Sometimes I have anxiety being around people I am not comfortable with.
I also have a certain spiritual awareness I didn’t have when I was younger. I recognize that if I want the Holy Spirit to step in and take charge- I must ask him to. I don’t depend on other flawed human beings to “feed me” spiritually. I know how to open, read, and study scripture. I know how to pray, worship, and seek spiritual counsel from qualified people.
I also know how to get my feelings really hurt by the very people who shouldn’t be hurting people’s feelings at all. I have expectations that just because I am different, and I see things from a place of clarity (for me personally) I would be welcomed with open arms and the love of Christ in my own church.
It doesn’t feel this way.
I’ve not been here my whole life. I’m not part of the tradition. I’m not part of the memories. I’m not part of much of anything. Some of that is my choice- we don’t have women’s ministry at my church. (Not an excuse just a fact) We have traditions, established women’s groups consisting of lifelong friends and family (who are not a fan of switching things up), and a handful of new people who don’t know where they fit in. (We aren’t exactly good at rolling out the welcome mat.)
This often makes me think of a piece of artwork of Jesus that I have grown to love, not because it is actually him, but because of what he is doing. He has his arms stretched out like he is ready to embrace anyone.
Imagine that- embracing anyone.
Having the ability to embrace anyone is a God-given gift at best. I believe it’s a prayed-for gift, not something which comes naturally to many. Especially not a group of people who have always suffered loss in their congregation and not a lot of growth.
Embracing anyone includes everyone– much like the gospel. It means it doesn’t matter if someone is new to Christ, new to your church, or new to you. It doesn’t matter if a person has no ideas or new ideas- embracing everyone takes a form of self-sacrifice that most don’t understand.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s breaking with tradition. It’s making a change that is hard for almost everyone.
But to be like Jesus and move forward with growth we must do the hard things.
To be like Jesus we must have our arms wide open- ready to embrace everyone.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think (and likely overthink) this situation and how I can make it better only by opening my own arms and welcoming others in a way I have not been. If I can be like Jesus in this one small way, then it’s one small thing I can do that is hard for others, and maybe it will make a difference.
I used to be really offended for myself over this situation. But I have come to realize some people simply don’t know how to open their arms, hearts, and lives. I am still looking for a way to overcome this obstacle for myself personally. I would love to have no anxiety walking into the place where I worship. I pray for the Holy Spirit to give me what I need to be the change I want to see.
What does embracing everyone look like exactly?
How do we walk in our lives with open arms like Jesus?
It must start in one place, become very consistent and second nature, then spill over into other areas of your life. It’s a personal choice and a Holy Spirit-led venture.
Accepting everyone in all of life’s circumstances, regardless of where they come from is a good start. Unconditional love and respect for someone’s boundaries. Communicating clearly and concisely. Quiet, prayerful support in life decisions and acceptable, prayerful counsel when needed. Community, commitment to the relationship, and continuous relationship maintenance.
For me, it looks like giving people space when they need it. Sending them a handwritten card or quietly squeezing their hand in a moment when words won’t work or be heard. Smiling across a room. Intentionally seeking out those who look lost like I am. Recognizing that people were created to need one another and created to be helpful to one another.
It looks like asking the questions instead of making assumptions. It requires less gossip and more listening. It requires a certain number of uncomfortable moments of uncertainty until you get over yourself and the fear of rejection and just offer support and love in a variety of simple ways that reflect that you care.
Personally, I would love for the people in my church to be more open to visitors instead of making it feel so closed off and private. I would love to hear “The people in your church are so warm and welcoming, we will definitely be back.” I would love a genuine smile and a friendly handshake and a sense of belonging to be offered to everyone who comes in the door, from lifelong members to brand new visitors.
Everyone needs to be on the same page with their level of Holy Spirit-led hospitality for this to happen. Everyone needs to recognize and understand the impact of their words, facial expressions, huddles in the corner with friends, and quiet glances.
Everyone has to want to become a space where we embrace anyone and everyone like Jesus.
XOXO
JOY
On November 1, 2021, I set up my Christmas tree with its twinkling led lights. I sat down on the couch in the dark, with a cup of coffee, a fuzzy blanket, and a book. For a few minutes, I felt calm, cool, and collected. I had been counting down the days after I made a deal with my husband about setting it up after Halloween. I made sure to put it in my calendar, and it was the only Monday since the semester started that I was able to come home after work without stopping and not log into a class.
I took a picture of my twinkling tree and put it on my social media pages because it makes me happy and brings me joy.
I knew there were people who thought this was ridiculous, and who would be making comments about it being too early.
Here’s the thing.
I know what brings me joy.
I know when I get into a place where I am struggling on any level, that there are certain things I can count on to lift my spirits. I also believe this is not up to anyone else. It is my responsibility to look out for my own physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Not one of the people who had negative things to say is doing anything to bring me joy, in any fashion. Not one of their comments is helpful.
None of them oversees my joy, happiness, or contentment.
And I am okay with it.
I am okay with knowing what brings me joy is my thing.
I am okay with everyone being on different pages where this Christmas tree and decorating business goes. Do you wait until after Thanksgiving? That’s cool. Do you wait until Dec. 1? That’s awesome, I appreciate the tradition. Do you wait until Christmas week? Alright, if that’s your thing.
My joy is not dependent on other people’s opinions. I’m not inviting people over to critique my choice. I’m not sharing my joy to invite criticism. I shared my picture because I was joyful, and I was hoping to bring some joy into the hearts of others if they should allow it.
I am old enough to know where I stand matters only to me. I am also okay with it.
This Christmas season, do what brings you joy.
Walk through the displays at the megastore. Buy that nativity you’ve been eyeing for years. Color coordinate your tree this year. Put up all the lights on all the buildings and call it Christmas. Go see the local light displays early, play Christmas carols, wear the ugly Christmas sweater.
My ultimate joy is derived from knowing all these seasonal things lead me to the cross, a lifetime journey that I have been focused on for a long time. And knowing that because of Jesus’ birth and his journey, I have the freedom to be joyful on my terms, without regret, remorse, approval, or calendar.
XOXO
Merry Christmas
Cling to the Cross
I placed an order recently for a few things to change up my Christmas preparation routine. When I received the package, I had no idea how much it would change my perception and perspective of a commonly said phrase.
A lot of time, when people are struggling with grief, among other things, the common advice is “cling to the cross”
I have done this, I have lived it, I have clung to it with everything I had in me. But I never really understood the reality until I opened this box.
Inside was a hand-sized, wooden cross, carved from acacia wood and beautifully shaped.
It was smooth yet firm in my hand. It fits perfectly when I hold onto it, and I couldn’t believe how natural it was to hold onto it.
Just like when I cling to the cross spiritually, I found myself clinging to it physically. I couldn’t believe it, but I felt like I was connected to this little handheld cross that I only owned for less than 24 hours.
It seemed so unreal- I felt like I wished I’d had it for years, a real cross to cling to. I couldn’t believe how holding it while I prayed, cried, or celebrated changed the way I cling to the cross.
My figurative clinging to the cross was always a cherished, sometimes struggling time. My literal clinging to the cross? That is an amazing small change I have made that I am having a hard time describing.
If you need something extra, a little faith push in the right direction, then maybe consider this for yourself. Whatever struggle looks like for you, I cannot advocate this little handheld cross enough. I have had devotionals, books and music help me in my faith journey over a lifetime. I never considered the impact a small cross could make in the palm of my hand, to give my faith a boost, my prayers more meaning, and my studying more life.
Somehow holding this small wooden cross has made everything about the birth, life, and death of Christ seems real. It makes it feel more important and special somehow. It reminds me of the humble beginning- birth in a strange place that wasn’t meant for people at all. The life that gave his parents joy and his follower’s hope and the death which was overcome in the grave in only three days’ time, to forever be defeated and left in ashes.
Somehow this little wooden cross has provided me with reminders I had forgotten and faith I had let weaken. Holding it in my hand has given me hope for the rest of my time here until I go home.
XOXO,
Hold On, Look Up
The God of the universe sees you.
He literally, figuratively, and completely sees you.
He sees your pain, your frustration, and your heartache.
He sees your guilt, your regret, and your somber self-loathing.
Most of all, he sees your redemption story.
Hold on when the night is long and the days are tough. Hold onto him, he knows the way. Live in obedience and take the road less traveled- he will take care of all your things- guaranteed.
Hold on when the hurt reveals itself and the feeling of helplessness takes hold of your heart. He will walk beside you and carry you through.
Hold on when people disappoint and walk away- he will never leave you or forsake you.
Hold on when it feels hopeless. Hold on when you are uncertain. Hold on when the only thing you can see is darkness and the only thing you feel is the cold.
He will always light your way. He will always warm the path. He will give you hope beyond what you have ever known.
The God of the Universe sees you, friend.
He sees you, he loves you, he knows you.
And if you ever forget- please just look up. He will send a reminder.
And if this sky looks like this tonight when I am struggling so much with the world around me, I can only imagine what it will look like when I am redeemed.
XOXO,
Jesus is Coming Soon
I read it on my social media page. Big blue letters. Jesus is coming soon.
I think this statement is relative for me because when is “soon”?
Not soon enough.
When I say this it makes me feel almost guilty for all those who have ignored people who have tried to witness to them. It makes me feel empathy and compassion for those who are teetering on the line of belief and faith, yet still have a foot in the world. It makes me think of those who left the church and their faith due to something human that happened to them or around them. And I catch my breath at the implications for those right on the edge, willing to pause for salvation out of uncertainty and fear.
on the other hand…
Not soon enough.
If they knew what I know, they wouldn’t pause at all. There would be no waiting.
There would be no hesitation because God is good, all the time.
If you believe that, then imagine what heaven looks, feels, smells, and sounds like! A place of no sorrow, no pain, no frustration. For me, no anxiety, no relationship faux-pas, no worrying about what other people do or say. There will be no tears, no physical pain, and no suffering.
No gossip, no slander, no jealousy, and no fighting. No crime, no injustice, no shootings, and no racism.
There will be only peace. Forgiveness. love. redemption.
We cannot possibly fathom how incredible Heaven will be. The only way to know for ourselves is to arrive there when we leave here.
The only way to accomplish that is to ask Jesus for forgiveness and turn from the way of this life to a new life within yourself. A life that includes obedience, scripture, and following the path God has laid out for you. You can save yourself by taking the steps and following through.
Below in John 14, Jesus speaks and gives clear instructions for redemption. He tells us exactly what to do and how to do it. And he tells us he is going there to prepare a place for us that we can only imagine.
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God[a]; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.”
Jesus the Way to the Father
5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”
6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know[b] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
15 “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20 On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21 Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.”
22 Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, “But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?”
23 Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. 24 Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
28 “You heard me say, ‘I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 I have told you now before it happens, so that when it does happen you will believe. 30 I will not say much more to you, for the prince of this world is coming. He has no hold over me, 31 but he comes so that the world may learn that I love the Father and do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
“Come now; let us leave.”
XOXO,
The Dirty Truth about…Truth
Who can tell me what the truth is?
Come on- don’t be shy- raise your hand. Tell me the truth.
I think Jack Nicholson said it best when he said, “You can’t handle the truth!”
True story, as ironic as it sounds. Some humans cannot handle the truth. We innately question, doubt and fear. But what is the reason behind our questioning, doubting, and fears?
The basis for truth is facts. When people want to know the truth, they want to know the comfortable, proven truth. They typically don’t want to know things that make them have to think about it or decide for themselves. People want truth handed to them on a silver platter, by someone with a white glove so no one gets their hands dirty.
Real truth isn’t like that.
The real truth is messy, uncomfortable, occasionally dirty, and sometimes deemed dangerous. For instance- medical data concerning our current situation with this illness. Anyone at any time can twist the actual data with interpretation to make it reflect what they want it to reflect. Studies can be done to support anything- with facts, evidence, and science. Even if it isn’t the truth.
Yep- I said it. That is the dirty truth. People can make facts, evidence and even science lie to support their own agenda. It happens all the time. Right now we live in a time when you must question everything, regardless of the source. You have to look at the actual data- not someone’s interpretation of it.
You are smart. You can look at data on your own to see the truth. You do not need a politician or evangelist to tell you what you can read for yourself. The actual data is posted, you just have to dig for it.
Thankfully, when it comes to the Ultimate Truth, I don’t have to dig at all.
When it comes to the truth, all I have to do is open my Bible and read on.
Scripture is full of truths that a lot of people don’t want to acknowledge. The real story behind creation, the flood, and the crucifixion, and the resurrection of Christ are large topics that people find easy to ingest. These things might not impact What about the hard topics? What about the things so many take a stand on, regardless of what the bible says? How about those life-impacting, raise-your -ist lifestyle type of things?
How do we share truth when so many are bent on not hearing it? I often turn to this scripture when I feel like I simply need to do something. And I remember in the day-to-day fight of living, I am not supposed to stay in this world. I find comfort in these simple directions, and hope in the eternal future knowing what I know because I believe truth.
XOXO,
Listening and Doing
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it-not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Faith-vs-Fear
How Fearful do we have to be to forget about being Faithful?
The observations and personal experiences I’ve had tell me I don’t have to be extremely fearful to have a momentary lapse in judgment and forget my faith. It happens to all of us. Usually, it sneaks upon us and we don’t see it coming. Then, in my case, I feel foolish for forgetting in the first place.
Faith is something we choose. It reveals our need in a moment of intentional clarity. On occasion it hits hard, taking the breath from us when we realize our mistake was getting caught up in impossible-without-God circumstances. Just like we don’t know what we don’t know, we sometimes don’t realize how fearful we are.
Being fearful is typically derived from something we feel is tangible. We can see the results of medical exams. We can see the results of domestic violence. We can see the results of the latest political drama, the latest virus, the latest (insert the latest fear factor here). We see these things which are primarily out of our control, and we immediately become fearful.
So the question becomes, how do we prevent this from happening?
The first thing I try to do- I have not perfected, but try to be intentional about, is to pray. When I feel the anxiety filling up in my head, I try to focus on what I know.
For certain I know Jesus is the Way, The Truth, and The Life. The one path. The only Redeemer. The only Son of God. My only Savior.
For certain I know Scripture is God-breathed. Written with me in mind. Written to encourage, direct and soothe me. Written intentionally as a guide for my life and what I stand for.
For certain I know I cannot change most of the stressful things which cause me fear, but I can overcome them. I can choose to be faithful in the things I know, and move past the things which bring me fear.
For certain I can turn to a verse which brings me much clarity and comfort.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
At the end of the day, I pray before I sleep. I pray over my entire mental list. My faith, my husband, my children, thierchildren and everything falls into place after that. Then I pray for rest, so I can get up the next day and start over afin- more faithful than fearful.
XOXO
Fact -vs-Faith
In a world where nothing makes sense, yet we are expected to make decisions in a flash, where do our tendencies seem to lean? Do we make decisions based on Facts or Faith? Where is the middle?
So, without making an actual list, let’s think about our own list of things. There are so many things we have to decide about, every single day. The demand seems overwhelming at times. These decisions can be personal. They can also be very public.
The things we do directly impact our relationships with people. Regardless of which direction we move, our best decisions are going to offend or upset someone. There is no way to make everyone happy- we must have discernment and make decisions based on what we think is best for ourselves and our family.
These decisions affect the way we work, the environment we work in, and how we proceed each day. They can affect us when we go to church, the grocery store, and the small group we belong to. They have an impact on us that can feel negative and oppressive.
How can we maintain faith while digging for facts and keep the balance of making a good decision?
We take a deep breath and move forward with the consequences, good or bad. We lean into the things we know, the things we want to know, and the things we learn. We spend time in prayer and scripture, asking for guidance and for the Holy Spirit to guide our discernment. We listen.
There are a lot of choices to be made, which we need to educate ourselves about. It’s important to have real facts from real resources and to balance those facts with faith that you will be led by the Holy Spirit to make the best decision possible.
The cloud of “what if’s” and “but” hangs over all of us. We will not be able to shake it until we are confident in our faith that we are moving forward in the best possible ways we know-how.
It might require more study, more reading, and more commitment. It might require more of us praying and being still, so we can have clarity. It might mean turning off the television and putting on some worship music. It might look like setting our phone down and heading outside for a walk or a rest in a hammock.
It most definitely means we need to choose the healthiest path for ourselves and not worry about what other people think we should be doing. It also means we don’t have to post on social media every decision we make and explain why, putting us at risk of having to defend our decision later.
When thinking about ur own personal list, we need to understand it takes both facts- God gave you a brain for a reason- and faith- God also gave you Jesus.
XOXO
